


Untitled (FtM!Blaine's first time topless at the beach)

by likeasouffle



Category: Glee
Genre: Dysphoria, Gen, Happy, Scars, Trans Blaine, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-03-04 18:11:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3079448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeasouffle/pseuds/likeasouffle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for mailroomorder's prompt: Trans!Blaine post top-surgery going to the beach for the first time with Kurt and realizing he can go shirtless and having minor dysphoria and anxiety about that, but ultimately going through with it and just feeling super happy and at peace with who he is.<br/>Here is the <a href="http://likearumchocolatesouffle.tumblr.com/post/97443070280/mailroomorder-said-do-you-take-prompts-if-not">original post on Tumblr</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled (FtM!Blaine's first time topless at the beach)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mailroomorder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mailroomorder/gifts).



Blaine helped Kurt set up his beach chair and a big sun umbrella, so Kurt could lie under it and read while listening to the sounds of waves and seagulls. The sun was fierce, and even with the light breeze coming in over the water, Blaine was sweating already. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before we got here, but I’m  _so_ glad I don’t have to wear more than one layer anymore.” He laughed and wiped his forehead with his arm. “My binder would have ended up  _soaked_.”

Kurt laid back in the chair and brushed the sand off his knees as he spoke: “You know, you don’t even have to wear a shirt at all if you don’t want to.” He picked up his book and flipped to his page, then tucked the bookmark safely under the back cover. “You could just go topless. No one would care.”

Blaine just stood there a moment, staring at Kurt, who wasn’t paying attention. “Yeah. I guess I… Yeah.”

He tugged nervously on the hem of his shirt, and looked around at the other people he could see hanging out on the beach. Families splashing around in the water, couples sunbathing on blankets, a group of friends playing frisbee… He couldn’t see a single person who looked like they might be trans, or gender non-conforming, or even anyone with any visible scars. He felt like a spotlight was directed straight at him, and it would turn on and point him out to everyone the moment he took off his shirt.

He knelt down by Kurt’s chair and touched his shoulder. “Kurt?”

"Mm?"

"Do you think I should?"

Kurt stopped reading and looked at him. “Should what?”

Blaine swallowed and looked around again. “Take off my shirt.”

"Sweetie–" Kurt put his book down on his own chest, with his finger between the pages to mark his place. "You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But if you do want to take your shirt off, you should just go ahead. No one’s stopping you."

"I know but–" Blaine took a breath. "I mean, I didn’t even think about it until you mentioned it–"

Kurt frowned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stress you out.”

"No, I just mean, it doesn’t feel like something I’m supposed to do. I’ve never done it before."

"Well, I felt pretty weird the first time I took my shirt off in public too. There’s a first time for everything. It starts to feel normal after you do it more."

Blaine nodded, frowning. “Yeah. I guess.” He bit his lip.

"Hey." Kurt leaned in conspiratorially and said in a hushed tone: "You want me to point out all the weird-looking people and make fun of their butt cracks and hairy shoulders and awful haircuts and things?"

Blaine laughed louder than he meant to and put his hand over his mouth. “No, thank you.”

"Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I saw a lady in a neon yellow and green floral one-piece a minute ago, I could try to find her again…?"

Blaine cracked up and tried to shush Kurt between outbursts. “Ssh! Oh my god!”

Kurt grinned. “Just let me know if you change your mind. My services are always available.”

Blaine just sat there giggling and shaking his head. “You’re the worst.”

Kurt leaned up and kissed Blaine’s cheek. “Just remember: People are weird and out-of-place sometimes. It happens. It’s no big deal. And usually nobody cares.”

Blaine smiled a funny, grateful smile. “I love you.”

"Love you too. Now go play in the water, like you said you were going to."

"Okay." Blaine kissed Kurt and got up. "Back soon." He kicked his sandals off and headed down the beach.

When he got to the water, he went straight in, rushing headlong into the waves until he was up to his chest. It was chilly, and made him shiver, but it was such a relief after the heat of the air. His trunks clung to his thighs as he scrunched his toes in the soupy wet sand. He lifted his feet and paddled his arms to keep afloat, and let the water move him forward and back, forward and back, steadily shoving his body wherever it wanted to go.

He looked around to make sure no one was looking, took a deep breath, and pulled his shirt quickly over his head. He held it in one hand as he kept treading water for a minute. He looked down at himself, at the way the sun hit his chest through the surface. His nipples looked almost normal now, but the scars below them were still raised and red. Everything else was fine, he supposed – the general shape of his pecs, the dark hair on his stomach.

He put his feet back on the ground and made his way, in one of those weird slow-motion walks against the tide, back to the beach to leave his shirt with Kurt. He looked around again, and saw that he wasn’t the center of attention at all. No one was looking his way. He blushed and put his shirt down by Kurt’s chair. “Okay, this time for real.”

Kurt smiled. ”Have fun!” 

Halfway to the water, a frisbee landed by Blaine’s feet. He bent down to pick it up just as a young man came jogging over to retrieve it, wearing only jeans and some pretty impressive facial hair. “Sorry!” the man called.

Blaine held the frisbee out, swallowed, and resisted the urge to look down at himself.

"Thanks, dude!" The man took it and ran off without another word. He tossed it to his group of friends and the game continued without even a second glance.

Blaine watched them for a moment. A smile slowly spread across his face.

Then he ran back out to the water, dove right in, and swam out with the waves to where his feet couldn’t touch the ground. He spun around and splashed, turned his face up to the sun, and laughed.


End file.
